The Hillwood Future
by NolenClairsure
Summary: What will life be like around the Shortman-Pataki House? Find out in this awesome FanFic
1. Chapter 1

I live in small city called Hillwood. I have to live in This small apartment Near school.

I have three sisters. Christina, whos favorite hobby is to pound me. Lizzy, who loves to drive me crazy.

And Catherine, she's in a expensive boarding school in Germany. And me, I don't know where I fit in.

My name is Henry Shortman-Pataki what you know what the best thing about school is? nothing that's what.

Okay, here's my day plan. I wake up, get dressed. Get breakfast. Sprint to school, avoiding The B-Man.

But today is different. I have to go to the upperclassmen part of the school yard. I have to deal with B-Man AND Vivaldi.

I drag my self to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Suddenly, I trip into a big puddle of shaving cream.

I can hear a snickering from the shower. I grab a shaving cream can and walk up to the shower.

I spray inside the shower. "Huh, no ones here" I said. Suddenly, Chirstina and Lizzie spray me with saving cream and toothpaste.

Then mom comes in. Great, now she'll catch Them. HENRY! What are you doing?!. I look around. A innocent Christina and Lizzie lay fast asleep In Their beds.

Heres your lunch! Mom says. I look inside. "Hmmm, Vodka, Olives and a sports Magazine. Oh sorry that's mine! says Dad. When I leave, I can hear them opening the vodka.

I suddenly think of all the the cleaning I have to do. I'm gonna find them, in bed, hungover. They do this once every year. There okay parents but they slip, sometimes. Great. Well, at least, Christina got a new bullhorn.

The last major time they did this was after senior prom. After that they had Christina.

I walk to school when fishy Saywer-Peterson walks up.

Hi henry, he says in his thick, southern drawl. You nervous?

Fishy, this is Fifth Grade. Of course I'm nervous.

Then, Lizzie and Lilly run up to us. I know that look on Lizzie's face. It's the, oh no, it's B-Man!

He is really called, Peter Berman. He just thought b-man sounded cool.

He and his gang are surrounding, Third Grader, Spencer Horowitz. alright, you have two options B- Man says.

You can get on your belly and beg for mercy or hang upside down for the morning, or if you take a beating, I will leave you alone for 5 minutes.

As he starts pounding, we Run like crazy. Finally we get to our crappy school. P.S 118. Over the years it had some major budget cuts.

Lilly and Lizzie run to the saftey of the swing set.

Fishy and I stare into the Upperclassmen yard.

One one corner I see, Kirsten Gammelthorpe going on about Loreal's newest, hair spray.

One the other corner I see, Margaret Johannsen and Kelly Horowitz taking a head start on their studies. in the middle I see Vivaldi beating up some Fourth Grader. Suddenly, he spots fresh pray, the new batch of Fifth Graders.

Then a miracle happens. The bell rings. I run inside the school as fast as I can.

when I look back, Nolen Gifaldi, scream as Vivaldi, drags him away from the school.

George Johannsen being impounded on and, Carsen Gammelthorp holding in to the railing of the steps for dear life.

I run to the designated classroom, 5S. I open door and hurry along everybody to get inside.

Nolen tries to get in but is dragged away by B-Man. I won't imagine he will be back by Noon.

He looks at us and says, do I see some familiar faces?

We all say, Nope.

Okay, My name is Mr. Simmons, let me read attendance.

Carsen Gammelthorpe? Here!

Kirsten Gammelthorpe? Here as I'll ever be.

Fishy Sawyer-Peterson? Here!

George Johannsen? Here!

Kelly Horowitz? Here!

Margaret Johannsen? Here.

Nolen Gifaldi? Nolen? Not here I guess.

Henry Shortman-Pataki? I wave to him.

He stares at me for a second and then at the attendance sheet.

He whispers, it happened.

Then he says, okey dokey class, open your desks. You will find, a some paper and a history book.

When I opened my desk, I see there is some carvings in there

i think its says, A+H, I don't know. There is some papers pushed to the side.

I decide, I'll read them later. I pull out my history book instead.

When I open it, I has this clay model of someone at the end of the book.

All the pages are cut out so you can see it.

The day continues like this until I get Home.

They are In bed, like I predicted. I clean up a little then watch some sports. When I try to get up I can't. I am super glued to the seat.

I hear a snicker from behing the couch.


	2. Chapter 2

I turn to see Christina and Lizzie looking at me.

Damn! I think out loud.

Come on, help me! I scream at them. They just look at me and walk off. People say that they have their Mothers Personality.

I have to think of a revenge. I have some mega dirt on Christina. She writes this poetry about this guy.

If I show this poetry to this guy, she will be ruined. I mean she would lose her position as Middle School bully.

Or Lizzie. Who else knows she and Lilly started the Great Food Fight of '09. Hmm.. i think no one.

But... oh my god..Clever girls. they knew that Mom and Dad wouldn't actually get up until, maybe Midnight.

They, would be leaving me here. Well at least I can watch TV. Then the channel changes

Can you find the Banana tree? Oh no, Not Nora the Adventurer I hear a snicker from behind. Eat up says, Lizzie.

I see a big bowl of spinach. Ha! We get to torture you but now, and the best part, NO ONE KNOWS!

What they didn't know, my camera was on web-broadcasting mode To YouTube.


	3. Chapter 3

And when you've cleaned the toilet, you can wash the car, clean out the gutters and vacuum the carpet! Mom screamed at Caroline

Nooo! Not my Playtime Pansy! Screamed Lizzie. I'm sorry but, you have to learn not to torture your brother, said Dad

You know my video? Well it went viral. 500 hundred million views. I'm on the charts!

You know what, screw TV. I'm going to watch Caroline clean. It more fun. And the best part is, They have to do this routine for a year! Normally it would be a month but since about 1/16 of the world has seen the video, it has been increased to a year.

Well, its 4:57. Time for my daily eavesdropping on Mom and dad. I sneak up to their bathroom and listen.

Helga, maybe we're being too harsh on them. Harsh!? Screamed Mom. A sixteenth of the world has seen our children torturing an innocent child! Everybody will see our kids as CRIMINALS. Okay, Okay said Dad, bringing her closer to him.

Oh no! 4:59! Gotta go before it gets disgusting! That's the rule around here. If you eavesdrop on Mom and dad after 4:59 you are marked as a pervert.

Execpt for dares. Lizzie WATCHED for a half and hour and Caroline paid her 50 bucks. I watched for an HOUR and was paid 100 dollars by Caroline.

Well the good news that Catherine is coming home. She says she has a boyfriend. Mom and Dad pretended to be pleased to meet him but they are really going to judge him.

DING-DONG!

The doorbell rang. It must be Catherine! I'll get it! I yelled. I opened the door and I see Catherine being held be this guy who was at least 35! Maybe even older than Mom and Dad!

Hi Cat! Said Lizzie. Hello Cartheri- WOLFGANG?! Screamed Mom? Hello Helga, he said in a seductive voice. I could have sworn he licked his lips.

GROUP HUDDLE! Screamed Caroline. She says that when something gets too complicated.

Who the hell is that? I whispered. That's Wolfgang, Mom whispered back. He wanted to date me in High School but I always turned him down.

Can I help myself to these Chips or… said Wolfgang from the Kitchen. How does he do that? I said.

One Hour Later

Mommy, the Wolfy meanie is hogging the sofa said Lizzie. Alright, that's it!

Henry and Lizzie, pack your things, you are going on a sleepover to Lilly and Fishy Peterson-Sawyer's house. Caroline, you are going to have a sleepover at Biannca Gammelthorpe's House.

I was packing when I saw Wolfgang pinning down Mom trying to strip her. I completely panicked and grabbed a bottle of chlrophorm from Caroline's Chorophorm Collection and a Pad from Lizzie's Pad collection. I poured chlrophorm on the pad and ran in to The parents bedroom

I put the pad over Wolfgang's mouth and pulled him out of there. What are you doing? Said Mom.

Caroline said, Henry?

I have a plan, we book a flight Taiwan, we put him on the flight along with me and Caroline.

We take him out of the plane and get a taxi to drive us to the Sunny Vision Hotel and get him a room. We make a pape mache doll looking like Catherine and tape a note to it. It will read, GET OUT OF THIS ONE YOURSELF.

Okay, I Have two questions, How long is he going to be out? And Where do we get money to fly to Taiwan.

I say, This is pretty strong chloroform. He will be out for about three days. And I have money saved up. I had over 50,000 dollars in a locked case with an alarm if anyone tried to break into it.

I went on to the computer and booked three tickets to Taiwan and Two tickets back to the U.S.A.

I grabbed all of our passports and said, We are going to the Peterson-Saywers!

Mom drove us to the airport and said, If anyone attacks you, do the over-the bridge manuver. Which is, pin the person's arms around his back and tackle him.

Bye! I yelled as we carried the unconsinuouis body of Wolfgang.

I had to heave him through Baggage check and customs while Caroline carried him through the boarding area and on to the plane.

It was a long flight. Caroline had brought her iPod to keep her entertained and I had brought along several books.

Finally after several hours we had made it to Taiwan. I heaved him out of the plane while Caroline heaved him through the Airport.

We got a taxi and went to the Sunny Vision Hotel. We checked in and got our room. It was a really crappy hotel. We spent two hours making a pape mache doll.

I wrote a note saying, GET OUT OF THIS ONE YOURSELF with a, Taiwan Dollar taped to it. I thought it was more dramatic. We check to see if everything was perfect.

The pape mache doll, the note, the backpack filled with Boxes of Taiwan style spinach.

We went back to the Airport, and flyed back

When we got back, Catherine was in tears

HOW COULD HE LEAVE ME! HOW DARE HIM! She punched a hole in the wall.

Did you do it? Asked Mom. We said, Yes.

You know the drill, No one knows. Got It? We said, Of course.

Meanwhile Back At Taiwan…

Wolfgang woke up. He wondered where he was. At first, he thought he got drunk and hooked up with Helga but there was a little noted taped on her.

He went to get the note but her skin was as hard as rock. He flipped her over and discovered that, she was a dummy.

The note said, get yourself out of this one. He saw a coin taped to the note. It didn't look like a American coin, it looked Chinese or something Asian. He looked around, he didn't reconigse anything. There was a knock on the door. Hello? House Keeping!


End file.
